Cause of December flooding found

At times of heavy workload, Friendly Encounters become less frequent. So we've enlisted experienced reporters to fill the gaps with short, topical news stories. Here is the first:

The severe flooding that has hit Britain this month has nothing to do with climate change, says a prominent scientist.

"It's all Jeremy Corbyn's fault," said Dr Nikolai Moss. "This isn't politics. It's science." 

Rain forms around negative particles in clouds, Moss explained. "So all the negativity in the media about Corbyn is floating up into the clouds and acting as condensation centres for rain droplets."

Asked to comment, Richard Dawkins, the biologist whose brain is famously so big it can be seen from Pluto, was unimpressed. "I had never heard of Nik Moss so I looked him up," he said. 

"He claims to have a degree in climatology from the University of Auchinleck. But I was on a train once that went through Auchinleck and it's just a couple of crofters' huts in the Scottish wilderness. The man's a charlatan."

"If Nik Moss is a scientist, my arse is an ancient Greek philosopher," he added.